I just bought some Lomography Redscale film rated 50-200 ISO. Lomography Redscale Film (to be further abreviated as “Lomo RS”) is a color negative film processed regularly in C-41 and possibly ( although I haven’t tried it with this film and don’t really recommend it,) Cross-processed in E-6.

Like most Redscale films, at it’s rated ISO of 200, it creates dreamy Red Saturated photos.

And when exposed at its rated ISO 50 (Didn’t I just say it was rated at 200 ISO?) It washes out some of the red hues.

That confused me and I didn’t understand it when I ordered the film online. But when I recieved the box I read the package. The back of the box said. “Lomo RS Technology offers a very high exposure range. Different exposure settings produce different results. rate the film as ISO 200 for super-intense red and orange colours, rate it as ISO 25 to mix additional tones of blue and green into your image.” with the footnote “Special-effect redscale film with extended exposure range from ISO 12 to ISO 400. Works with all 35mm cameras.”

So after about two weeks of not having anywhere to use ISO 50-200 film. I was invited to a surprise party at a gazebo in a park. Grabbing my Minolta XD-5 (Which has a TTL (Through-The-Lens) light metering with a manual variable ISO dial from 12-3200) shot an entire 36 exp. roll. These are my most favorable results. (Scanning the negatives left a few of the photos lacking compared to their print versions.)

So that’s it for the film. I love it, it has some amazing results I would highly suggest buying this for your SLR camera, however if you you have another type of camera I’d suggest holding off unless you have a light meter. But I’ll warn you, the film seems to only like the lower ISO values (12,25,50) if you have a LOT of light (1/250, 1/500, 1/1000) and a smaller F-Stop (probably less than 8) because that’s when you get the better results, at the slower speeds (1/30, 1/15, 1/8) however it starts to get a little bit grainy as shown in some of the photos.

So being extremely bored a few days ago I found myself staring at my Canon T1i and wondering what to do. I ended up trolling the internet instead of taking some beautiful photos.

But as all things do, they led me back to photography, I found a DIY Pinhole website.

According to Wikipeda : “A pinhole camera is a simple camera without a lens and with a single small aperture — effectively a light-proof box with a small hole in one side. Light from a scene passes through this single point and projects an inverted image on the opposite side of the box.”

It showed a method for creating a Pinhole lens out of an old body cap and some other pieces. (The site I went to is here)

Some History on Pinholes:

Pre Renaissance:

There were references to early pinhole expiriments and observations as early as 5th century BC in China when Philosipher Mo Tsu was the first person to record an image with pinhole technology, using what is called a Camera Obscura. A while later In western europe, Ibn al-Haytham an Arabian Mathematician did experiments with pinhole technology and noted the fact that light travels in a straight line (A principle pictured well above)

Renaissance to First Photo:

Leonardo da Vinci, in his Codex Atlanticus describes image formation in pinhole, however these would remain unpublished until 1797.

In 1580 a pinhole camera was used in the Vatican Observetory to prove to Pope Gregory XIII that the March equinox falls on the 21st of the month instead of incorrectly the 11th. Two years later Pope Gregory corrected the calendar by 10 days, thus introducing the Gregorian Calendar which is still the most widely used Civil Calendar.

1558, in his Magia Naturalis, Giovanni Battista della Porta described the lensless (pinhole) camera. He gained wide regard for his camera obscura shows, and was regarded as the inventor of the camera obscura although this was not the case.

The Term Camera Obscura was coined by Johanes Kepler. In his lifetime, Camera Obscura (Latin for “dark room”) meant a room, tent, or box with a small lens aperture (or simply a pinhole) that was used by artists to draw landscapes or portraits.

An artist using a Camera Obscura to paint a portrait

In the 1620′s Kepler invented a portable Camera Obscura, They were soon found as drawing aids by both artists and amateur painters

A portable Camera Obscura

In the 19th century several large camera obscuras were built as places of education and entertainment. Several still exist today and a few were built in the 20th century.

First Pinhole Photos and beyond:

in the 1850′s Sir David Brewster was one of the first to make pinhole photographs, he also coined the term “pinhole” or “pin-hole”

In the late 1800′s two different “schools” of photography emerged, the “Old School” That believed in sharp focus and good lensed, and the “New School” or the “Pictorialists” that tried to achieve the qualities of paintings. Pictorialists did things such as rub substances on their lenses and print on emlusion covered canvas. Some pictorialists experimented with pinhole photography

Pinhole Photography became the 1980′s, comercial pinhole cameras were sold in Europe, the United states and even Japan.

Mass production of cameras in the 20th century mostly forgot pinhole photography and by the 1930′s the technique was practically forgotten.

In the 1970′s pinhole photography gained popularity but in the US, critics tended to ignore pinhole photography in art

On April 29, 2001 the first Worldwide Pinhole Photography Day(WPPD) was held

Present Day:

So where does that leave us, Well I’ don’t have any of the resources to create a pinhole “lens” for my digital camera and I already had a perfectly good film camera with a pinhole setting. But Idle hands are the devils playground and I thought I don’t need any of those fancy supplies, I’m only working with light, so I got out some tin foil and a sewing needle to create what I call “Super DIY Pinhole.”

Supplies:

- Camera Body

-Tin Foil

- Sewing needle

Process:

So I started out by taking a long strip of tin foil out and wrapping it around my camera. The Tin foil I have is an 80ft x 12 in roll. I pulled out about 4-5 inches and cut it off to give me a 4×12 in piece of tinfoil. (Trust me this is more of an art than a science)

I wrapped it around my camera with the body cap on. Once I had formed a nice seal of tinfoil around my camera I carefully peeled the foil off and set held it lightly in my hands. with the sewing needle, approximate the center of the lens mount circle and poke a hole. Simple as that.

Now taking the body cap off I re-wrapped the foil on the camera, making sure everything was snug I switched the dial to manual and had at.

Those were my first two photos Obviously I wasn’t going for clarity or anything but something could be improved upon, the pinhole shots on my film camera came out better than this. The problem was, I couldn’t find a sewing needle at first and used a small nail. The pinhole was too big. So next I had a thumbtack.

There we go, that’s a little less blurry, but at this point I was mostly trying to remember where the sewing needles were. Once I found them I created a third ‘tinfoil coffin lens’.

Benefits of Digital Pinhole Photography:

Its Digital!: Feel free to take as many shots as you want! Switch your camera into manual and take a shot, rework it, take a few more. No one cares, you can delete them!

Ditch the Tripod: With a DSLR you have the option of choosing the ISO (Light sensitivity) of your photographs. You can throw your camera up to 3200 ISO (Usually night time photography. (for reference: 400 ISO is a regular setting and 800 is a low light situation.)) And with 3200 ISO you’re able to go outside and hold your camera and take rather high speed shots (1/10, 1/25, 1/60) instead of putting it on a tripod.

No Focus: This isn’t much of a problem for some digital photographers, but for anyone who ever has used, or likes to use manual focus, you don’t have to focus a pinhole camera. if you can get the hole small enough, the picture will focus itself. Or be blurry-ish.

Multi Pinhole: I threw a few of these up (in the gallery below) it’s when you poke three holes in the tin foil instead of just one. 3 images!

Downside to My Pinhole Photography:

It’s not a science: Sometimes your pinhole isn’t exactly centered and you have to do a little trial and error. For example, for my last pinhole set the hole was a little high so I had to tip back my camera for every shot to make sure I captured what I intended to.

It’s only Temporary: I’ve made 6 of these in trial and error so far but I’m so happy I did. It’s amazing, but temporary, you can’t take it with you to go take photos in say a forest, or out around town. And you can’t (well I suppose you could) bring tin foil around with you to create pinhole covers. But on a rainy day (or a sunny boring one) this is an amazing time waster.

Here’s a small Gallery of some other pinhole photographs.

Well hello readers.

Here’s my first in a series of weekly album reviews.

I like music, and I know music. And I have the one things a reviewer needs. A strong opinion.

I’ll go through the history of the album and the artist, than every song on the album. I’ll tell you everything you want to know about the song and give each song a 1-100 grade, and the entire album a 1-100 grade, and a letter grade. (Thorough right?)
History:

I’ll start with my favorite artist and my favorite album.
Notes From Elsewhere (2007)

Peter Mulvey is an American singer-songwriter based in Milwaukee Wisconsin. He’s attended Marquette University where he started his music career. He traveled to Dublin where he preformed for a short while and spent several years in Boston where he was known to preform in the cities subway system. He has released 15 albums, been featured on four compilations and put been featured in two DVD’(one solo, one compilation).

Notes From Elsewhere released Nov 6, 2007 was an ‘acoustic retrospective album’ and petermulvey.com says that it “…is a retrospective collection of the very best songs he(Peter) has written and performed over his 15 year recording career. Recorded solo in a studio, with just an acoustic guitar, these are fresh takes on songs that have become fan and critic favorites over the years. While his previous band-backed albums showcased the songs, these solo versions allow each song to shine on its own demonstrating Peter’s strengths as a songwriter.” It received 3.5 stars from allmusic.com
Songs:

For Notes From Elsewhere was recorded mostly solo and brought in the accompaniment of David Goodrich and for one track Paul Cebar. these tracks one asterisk for David Goodrich and Two asterisks for where both Goodrich and Cebar were accompanying. The songs on the album are as so. The album runs 59 minutes and 03 seconds.

1. Shirt* – 3:32
2. Better Way to Go – 3:42
3. The Dreams – 1:50
4. Old Simon Stimson – 2:57
5. Rapture – 4:03
6. The Trouble with Poets* – 3:32
7. Grace* – 3:27
8. Black Rabbit – 3:10
9. If Love Is Not Enough – 4:07
10. The Knuckleball Suite – 3:35
11. Every Word Except Goodbye* – 3:57
12. Charlie** – 3:38
13. Tender Blindspot – 4:05
14. On the Way Up – 3:49
15. Wings of the Ragman* – 3:33
16. Words Too Small to Say* – 3:47
17. Little Foot – 1:29

Review:

1. Shirt: 84 points

To put this song first on the album was a great idea. It’s not the best on the album but it’s damn good. It right away establishes Peter’s great Guitar playing. You’re also introduced to his amazing lyrics. This was the first Peter Mulvey song that I’ve ever heard him sing and I was blown away. (I heard “On the Way Up” from my father on the guitar.) A very good song all around.

2. Better Way to Go: 57 points

I’ve found a pattern with the second song on many albums, it’s a good song, it’s not a great song, it’s got a few good components and it’s worth listening to, but not by a lot. “Better Way to Go” seems to fit this criteria perfectly. Peter’s guitar playing doesn’t seem to fall right up my alley and the lyrics are good, but that’s after the first few verses. Even though it is a weak song on its own; it’s placement in the album works out well. I always listen to it.

3:The Dreams 93 points

“The Dreams” is my second favorite song on the album. When I first listened to this song his singing hit me. Peter Mulvey has more of a talking voice than a singing voice. He does sing, but you know when he switches to talking. (I’ll never post boring complete verses of songs, but here is the link to the lyrics for this song). Seriously worth looking at, beautiful poetry.

4.Old Simon Stimson: 80 points

“Old Simon Stimson” is one of only two songs that I recognize from previous albums. (The only other album I have is his The Knuckleball Suite.) To compare the two would be a disservice to the song(songs?). I’m not too partial to the electric guitar in his version on The Knuckleball Suite, but that’s another topic. Old Simon Stimson is a very good song for any occasion I’d say.

5. Rapture: 92 points

“Rapture” is a great song, it starts out with low note to get you in a certain state of mood, and it play’s around with that. It’s definitely one of the darker sounding songs but also one of my favorites. I haven’t heard his version of the song from the original album “Rapture (1995)” But it is next on my list of albums to buy. It is a moody piece that I’m always happy to listen to.

6.The Trouble with Poets: 79 points

I like to laugh at the irony in “The Trouble with Poets.” Being a poet (and a beautifully gifted one at that) his argument seems to carry no weight. But at the same time I like to agree with his message. I’m no fan of the written poetry but however I’m a large literature fan as well as a large music fan. Being three different expressions from the same root I always like to listen to the poetic words of this song and smile. It doesn’t make sense but hey. “Sometimes nobody knows, nobody knows. Not even poets know…”

7. Grace: 84 points

I really like Grace for both its lyrics and its music but I don’t know how it moves me. It fits right in with the mood of “Rapture” and the lyrics all seem to make sort of sense but I just can’t get myself to understand it. I was originally going to give it 76 points but I decided that it deserved more. It’s such a great piece of music that I can deal with the fact that It seemingly makes no sense to me.

8. Black Rabbit: 89 points

“Black Rabbit” is an amazing acoustic piece. There are no lyrics so there isn’t much to be said about it. However, there is a YouTube video of Peter playing “Black Rabbit” here. It’s amazing to see him play.( Peter has even commented on the video from time to time.)

9. If Love is not enough: 82 points

I like the lyrics of this song espescialy, at this point in the album his guitar playing is still great but it just needs a lyrical song to kick the energy back. This is it, He keeps talking about a bad relationship saying “if love is not enough than what’s enough?” It sounds like he’s asking her until the last line. “If love is not enough, we will go on loving anyway. We are stubborn that way.” It’s a great song.

10. The Knuckleball Suite: 80

I enjoy this song as a nice cool down song, (like most of Peter’s songs seem to be.) And I know I said to compare any one of his songs to his other versions of The song would be a disservice, but I lied and I believe that This version is better than his original version. Call it a personal preference but the mood that Notes From Elsewhere has taken the song is better in my opinion.

11. Every Word Except Goodbye: 73 points

This is a good song, even as a stand alone song, but compared to the other songs on the album it seems to lose favor, and that’s probably why it is in 11th place on the album. A calm, beautiful song, but lacking in some way, (and I don’t know how it’s lacking at all but I can feel that it is.)

12. Charlie: 96 points

At number 12 on the list it is unusual to find such a great song as Charlie, where most albums these days have faded energy, or ended completely by 12 tracks. peter throws in one of my favorite songs on this album. Winning 96 points in my review it was also the chosen featured song on petermulvey.com to represent the album. (Direct link to the music : Charlie)

13. Tender Blindspot: 89 points

I love the beginning of this song.

“It’s Cold, but at least the sun is out.”

Those words hit hard like a sledgehammer,(Peter Gabriel Review to come later!) and the lyrics and music continue to work in perfect harmony for the rest of the song. It’s just an amazing song.

14. On The Way Up: 81 points

My father learned this song on the guitar from either Rapture (1995) or Goodbye Bob (1997). And I think he and I are in consensus when I say that This was not as good as the version that my father learned from. On The Way Up has great sentimental value for me, and maybe that’s why I don’t enjoy it as much on this album but It’s some good guitar playing.

15. Wings of the Ragman: 92 points

Another great song, equal in energy, mood, playing and lyrics to “Charlie” or “Rapture” The beginnings of his songs always have the greatest hits compared to other artists and this is no exception with plenty of delicious low notes and “The woman beside you, her shoulders are smoking, her eyes fill up with flame.” Brilliant lyrics. This song always gives me a good feeling and has inspired me to name a picture after it. The picture isn’t the greatest quality now that I look at it, but I like it just the same.

16. Words Too Small to Say: 80 points

I’m looking at the score’s I’ve given these songs and I’m really having a hard time giving anything less than an 80 (with the exception of “Better Way to Go”) I just love this whole album and although Words Too Small to Say falls into the category of weaker songs on the album. the half spoken word, half singing, half poem, half song gets to me. The words ebb and flow with the song. I wish I knew what was going on in Peter’s head while he plays this.

17. Little Foot: 100 Points

I’m giving this song a full 100 points. It is my favorite song on the album and one of my favorite songs ever. I can’t say enough about this song It’s only about 1 minute and 30 seconds long, but I can listen to it on repeat forever. Before I changed computers my itunes clocked it at having over 2000 plays, (I’m only at 170 right now but it’s going up as I type this.) I play this song whenever. If I’m feeling happy, if I’m feeling sad, While I’m working at stage crew, if I’m sitting and writing at my computer.

I remember that last summer I spent a week in a Zen Buddhist Monastery in New York, at the base of the Catskills. I wasn’t allowed to have my electronics turned on for the whole week, but as I sat in the bus I turned on my iPod to listen to this song. I can’t express enough love for this song. I will turn on this album, and as I get to the end, set this song on an endless repeat. Call me crazy but I love this song. I can’t wait to hear it on Peter’s “Brother Rabbit Speaks/Rain” album (2001).
Final Review: A+

I give this song a 97 points out of 100. I still haven’t found that perfect album but this one comes damn close. The songs are all recorded in top quality, the placement of the tracks from 1-17 is logical and pleasing and gets me in a happy, yet pensive, mature, and somewhat dark mood. Peter’s great songwriting and guitar playing is apparent from the beginning to end.

I can’t wait until I see him play in person.

My Picture: Wings of the Ragman

P.S

If You want me to review any album, I will gladly do so. Just comment on any review that I’ve put up and I’ll gladly listen to and review for you any music you’d like, (Although I will probably rate rap and hip-hop pretty low.) I will be posting new reviews Every Thursday

“What Time is it?” she asked. as they laid down on the top of the hill. the uncut grass all around them.  They stared at the sky.

The stars were out tonight and their conversation grew quieter. She yawned and turned inward. He looked over to her and they made awkward eye contact, they stared into each others eyes through the uncut grass. She smiled and laughed. He loved that laugh.

He broke the eye contact to look back at the sky, singing a few lyrics from a favorite song.

“There’s something in the way she moves,
or looks my way or calls my name,
that seems to leave this troubled world behind.”

“Who was that?” she asked.

“James Taylor” he said into the air.

“James who?”

“Never mind it, he’s a guitar player.”

“Oh, I like his sound.”

He started to sing again.

“And I feel fine any time she’s around me now, she’s around me now
almost all the time.
And if I’m well you can tell she’s been with me now,”

She tried to whistle the tune, she wasn’t doing to well but that didn’t bother him. She stopped, he looked over again and she was giving him a funny look. He leaned in and kissed her.

She was on her side and she rolled onto her back. He leaned in farther, she wasn’t pulling away, she was just taken off guard, off balance. They blended in with the grass, one giant passionate embrace with the earth.

Their embrace ended and he rolled back. He started to sing  once again, this time from a different song.

“First kiss ever I took
Like a page from a romance book
The sky opened and the earth shook
Down on copperline”

She sat up when he was done. It was almost pitch black, he could only make out a silhouette of  her features in the moonlight.

“You’re such a dork,” she said as she laughed. “You kiss well. But you’re such a dork.”

“In a good way right?”

“Yep,” she responded. “You’re a cute, sensitive dork. Like something from the pages –”

“Of a romance book.”  They finished the line together.”

He could see her smile in the dark.

She stood up, looking into the parking lot. “My mom is here” she said as she started to run down the hill.

It was a typical summer vacation for the Land family, but Jennifer was upset. Why was she not able to see the photos that dad had just taken?

The answer of course, was that the year was 1944, and one could not see the photos until they were developed and until prints were made of them. But this solution was not enough for a successful engineer like Edwin Land. “Within an hour,” Land said. “The camera, the film and the physical chemistry became so clear to me.” It was 1944 and the instant photograph, if only an idea at the time, was born.

Traditional photography has light sensitive silver halide crystals on an acetate base. its fairly simple. as white light is reflected onto a spot on the film, the light effects the crystals on the film. When processed, the film becomes a “Negative” image, where white or lighter colors come out darker, and black and the darker shades come out as white. This negative than has light reflected to it to create a “Positive” image on a print. Than you have a final picture.

But processing a film had to wait until you were able to get to a photography lab, and than wait at least an hour for someone else to process it, or if you were luck enough, you could process it yourself. Than the lab (or yourself) could create a print. Needless to say, you were not able to look into an LCD screen and see your photo.

But Edwin Land thought. Why not condense the process to the single sheet of paper, being able to view prints after only 60 seconds.

Although a relatively simple idea, it proved to be a monumental task for Land.

The first job was to get the picture developed after it had been exposed. Land designed a “pod” of chemicals to stay inside the base of the photo. When the film was advanced and the picture came out. Two rollers would compress the pod and dispersed the chemicals over the film.Once the film was developed it had to be shielded from light as the image developed. Too much light would cause the image to go black, but if shaded from light the chemicals would create a high contrast Black and White image. If left untouched, the chemicals would “burn” the image and turn it black, but Land developed a cellulose fixer which was stored inside a plastic pod inside the base of the film to be spread over the paper.

In 1947 Land his “one-step instant camera and film” to the Optical Society of America. In less than two years, the Polaroid model 95 and Type-40 film were on sale. For a base cost of $89.75 (With inflation, about $815 these days.) But Land chose the right year and the right place. WWII just ended and there was a lack of items to be bought. And now there was a fantastical camera that created pictures instantly. The sales of Type-40 Film rocketed.

The way that the Model 95 and subsequent models worked, was that the negative was exposed, which was in contact with the positive sheet that was also exposed. After that you pulled the paper tab and brought the print and negative through the rollers, dispersing the chemicals to develop the print. After waiting for developing time, you could just pull away the paper and voila, a print and negative, and if you wanted another picture. The negative was there for you to develop later.

Several models later, with numbers up through 450, Land introduced “Integral Film” in 1972. “Integral Film” required no chance or timing on the part of the user. Development was done by the film itself and all the user had to do was wait for the development process to happen. It was yet another revolution. Along with Integral Film came the SX-70. a folding SLR with a four element glass lens including a fresnel lens(Pronounced (FUR-nel)).

The Original film was improved once in the 70′s and replaced in the 80′s by the “Time-Zero Supercolor”, a reference to the much faster development time and brighter colors.

The camera had several models as well. The Alpha 1 and 2, the Model 2 and 3, and the Sonar OneStep. The Sonar utilized a special autofocus feature named Sonar.

Edwin Land passed away in 1991. Time Zero film was produced until 2005 and in 2008. Polaroid discontinued all instant film production.

The Good News:

Fujifilm still makes Pack film the FP-100 (which works with the ISO 75 reading on the Land cameras) and the FP-3000 (Which works perfectly with the ISO 3000 on the Land Camras).

(On a side note, If you are in possession of a Land camera with a built in electric timer I would be weary of these films. The Packs of Ten are a little thicker than the old Polaroid film and make the first two sheets jam. You have to sacrifice the entire roll if you make this mistake. Reports say the Mechanical timers do not intrude on the space of the film.)

And even better. in October 2008 when Polaroid shut down their last factory in Enschede (Thats in The Netherlands) a group of investors signed a lease contract with the new owner of the site for 10 years. They started The Impossible Project. Based on Edwin Land’s own quote.

“Don’t undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible.”

They gave them selves 31,536,000 seconds. One year, to change the world of photography, and although only taking one extension they completed their Impossible task. Completely recreating the Polaroid process and reinventing integral film. The PX-Silver Shade was born.

The First Flush of PX-SS was announced March 22, 2010 and was shipped on March 24, 2010 in its “First Flush” edition.

“First Flush: The quality of tea depends on the time brewed and the time of the year it is picked. First Flush refers to the first picking season of the year, typicaly around March. First Flush Tea typically has a rich and fresh aroma.

Just as First Flush Tea, this Film Material is carefully blended from handselected, rare, high quality components and ingredients. Like Premium quality tea, it is highly dependent on temperature and can be enjoyed, treated and experienced in many different ways – based on personal tastes and preferences.”

Now, SX-70 users are saved, The Impossible Project has saved Instant Photography and the vision of Edwin Land.

I encourage all film photography lovers to check out, and purchase from

The Impossible Project

and

The Lomographic Society International[gallery]

I’d Like to forward my post with the fact that it is it is very hard to find pictures that accurately depict my version of this time in time out argument. Which is better. Mac or PC

Mac or PC?

I have had this argument constantly with Connor, the creator of ‘SeeTheHour.com’. He is a firm believer in the technology of Apple and more specifically the Mac OS,(“Operating System” i.e. Windows 7, Snow Leopard, Hardy Heron.) I on the other hand vehemently detest Macs and am biased to Windows. (Sorry, no Linux talk today.)

On any given day, Connor and I will start off, Connor and I can always agree on one thing. The aesthetics of a Mac are better. I enjoy the way a Mac looks, the way it’s keyboard types and their new mouse. Apple’s advancements in double touch technology have given us things like the iPhone and the iPod Touch. Although not where Apple got its start, I feel that Apple should stick to what it has become good at, making portable media devices and smart phones. They look great, so they win that I guess. On our proverbial scoreboard let us give a tally mark to Macs.

But I don’t care about looks. My tower sits perfectly under my desk and makes no sound, it does not obtrude into my life at all, my monitor is as large as anything I’ve seen on a mac, and everything looks pretty sleek for what I’ve got. So on second thought, erase Mac’s tally mark. Its a moot point that only bothers the self conscious and the faux-indie hipsters. (You know who you are, and I hate you.)

After this our arguments become a little less formal, so bear with as I describe them too you.

Perhaps the greatest reason I hate Macs, is the OS. It’s “sleek” but impossible to work with, every single byte you download is downloaded directly to your desktop, which after about two days of use is completely covered in horse manure. You can file that, or put it all on the same three pixels of the desktop, or leave it willy-nilly so that as you download more things your thumbnails get smaller and things get harder to see until your desktop is finally destroyed by the weight of the files placed on it. I’ve seen it,Files lost on a Mac are entirely impossible to locate.

“I use the Finder,” says young naive Conner one day. That’s a great idea Connor, but when I want to find and use a file I need, say a Photoshop document. ( “x.psd” ) After aimlessly searching the desktop for the file that Mac decided to save to the desktop for me, in it’s infinite wisdom. I search “.psd” over 1000 results! Why and how, does that narrow my search? So after searching “Photoshop” and getting over 360 other documents the finder thought might be useful for me. I find Photoshop.exe, which would have been easier to find if the damn bar at the bottom of the screen wouldn’t grow and shrink at its own malicious will. Granted I’m not a Mac user, but if I know my way around a PC and this has already been the most exhausting Mac encounter to date. So now I’ve opened Photoshop and I’ve managed to find my file from some depths of hell. I go to use some hot keys, But I’m stuck, What is this evil symbol I see.

My Photoshop endeavors over with for today. I have resigned, beaten by the Mac OS already, so I went home and Whipped the above image up in photoshop, in less time than it took me to find Photoshop.exe on a Mac.

Connor continues on with his Mac fetish, “But they run fast and their programs work.”

Okay Connor, They run fast because there’s like zero programs for Macs. The six programs that Mac has given you work fine because Mac said (and this is a legitimate business strategy I’m not arguing with it right now.) “Lets pick just a few programs that your everyday user needs, An internet browser, lets steal Microsoft Word because it works so well, Lets let them take low-res photos with a built in camera that has a fun name like iPhoto and edit videos with cheesy effects in a fun program named iMovie, or lets make them feel like real hipsters when they edit their music in our trendy “Garage Band”. And also lets optimize the Adobe Creative Suite so that we can get the really rich Artists to use our platform. I liken Macs to a point and shoot camera (being a photographer). It takes photos, it turns on when you want it and it will break if you drop it. A PC is a completely different experience. It can be likened to a Canon EOS D-1 Camera (a Digital SLR for those of you non photographers) You can change lenses, put on filters, shot in .RAW, change white balance, have a large flash with a diffuser, and although the settings might need a little tweaking. When you look at that photo in your Windows version of Photoshop,(because you can get that one to open.) Damn! it’s a fantastic shot. The applications, modifications, available hardware, and customization are endless, and if you know how to use it, You’re unstoppable. Point and shoot cameras may claim to do things such as this, and i’ve tried. But I’ve not been able to come up with anything I like. Their effects are simple and cheesy, not satisfying the needs of someone like me.

To not upset our resident Mac user, I’ve never seen a Mac boot slower than a PC, (well, once or twice.) But than again, I’ve never seen a Point and shoot take a photo I liked.

When I use a Mac computer, I feel trapped, limited to what I can do, It is not clean, I can’t find folders, and when I do I have my choice of the programs I’ve got, unless I want to pay an arm and a leg for the other programs that Apple has got working on their system. However, when I’m using a PC, i’m in a veritable wonderland of choices, The world is my oyster, my Perl, (haha, get it anyone?) I am not limited at all, I can utilize the full potential of the machine.

Honestly, I didn’t have one single problem with Windows Vista, the UAC could get a little annoying but for anyone who knows what they’re doing they were able to create magic and wonder with their skilled fingers, While Mac users are busy lusting over their friend who learned to use the “star sweep” effect in iMovie.

My bottom, somewhat biased decision is. For those looking for a home computer with minimal customization so that your children can’t get into trouble (And have your college fund to dip int0.) Than buy a Mac, they present the “junior” version of entry level computers that are quote unquote (with much sarcasm) easy to use. But in the immortal words of one of my hometown natives Chris Morgan. “When you’re ready to get a real profession in the big boy world, we’ll be waiting for you to come to your senses.”

So what it really comes down to i guess. Is weather you are the housewife, the grandmother, the small child, the uneducated. (but who are we kidding the uneducated couldn’t buy mac products, have you seen those prices?) Or are you the dreamer,the visionary, the mover, the shaker, the purist, the unrestricted, the poet laureat of your generation, The budding engineer who decides he shouldn’t have to make a final decision of how much RAM he has or how much memory his graphics card has, or those who like to use words like “Open Source” and “Windows” with admiration instead of disdain.

If you chose the former, have what fun you can have with your Mac. Your group may take the single door in front of you that leads to the purgatory that is a Mac.

If you chose the latter, than welcome my friends, into a society of endless potential and endless wonder. I would tell you where to go first, but that is your choice, be you the executive, the gamer, go you to paradise or to inferno. Windows is yours to explore.